I was first introduced to this movie by seeing the trailer every time we went to see a movie at The Angelika in the past month or two.  That trailer captured my attention for two reasons: the intensity and honesty I saw on the faces of the actors, and the over-modulation of the musical score which rang to the point of distortion.  Regardless, it seemed clear this was a movie we were going to go see when it came out.  A talky movie following a failed relationship?  Sounded like my life (a few times over)!

I suppose how much you enjoy this movie depends on what you expect to get out of it.  There is no great resolution, no massive personal growth or moment of sudden clarity.  Like any relationship which ends, it all depends on how you look at it.  You can continue to expand the picture until it all loses focus, or you can narrow in on single moments.  There is no right and wrong.

The film follows the relationship of Stuart and Nicole (Justin Kirk and Julianne Nicholson) from meeting on a blind date to dating to marriage and ultimately to separation.  Stuart basically sets the stage for the relationship when he declares at the first date that neither he nor Nicole are "evil" (a term he uses to describe Nicole's best friend).  He's right - they aren't, they are two kind people who love each other (in some ways) and who want to build a life with each other.  Yet throughout the film it becomes clear that love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship.  Much like real life, the film is a collection of scenes where people do what they feel is right at the time, even what the think will be right in the future...but good intentions can't erase the facts that often we develop relationships with people who simply aren't suited for us.  A successful relationship requires love, commitment, hard work, understanding, and more than anything similar direction and similar priorities.

Maybe Stuart and Nicole and both a bit too selfish - they both seem to act out of pure self-interest, Nicole using "I want" frequently and Stuart setting down his own rules and agendas and expecting Nicole to follow them.  Perhaps they each carry too much baggage.  They both give in to each other without really meaning it, the kind of actions which result in built-up resentment.  More than anything, I noticed that the characters refuse to cry in front of each other.  To me, that was enough to doom the relationship.

In a Q&A session after the film, writer/director Jeff Lipsky explained that they deleted more than 50 scenes in an effort to keep both characters on a rather even playing field.  His greatest reward is that people leave the theatre arguing over who is more to blame for the failure of the relationship.  And those arguments are not split by gender.  In the end, there is more than enough blame to go around.  The story is about 50% quasi-autobiographical, but the most powerful scenes are fictional (such as the coversation between mother-in-law and son-in-law in the cafeteria). 

The performances are all strong, and particular attention is paid to Stuart's brother Jordan (Jamie Harrold), who is mentally unstable and quite flamboyant, often overshadowing his sibling.  I'm a bit too much like that character though, and with a nice collection of funny lines he is the hardest to dislike.  Personally I preferred the performances of Nicholson and of her mother (played by Rebecca Schull).

Overall the film is quite good, certainly successful in its own way, and it stays with you...some people might not appreciate that, but I do.  As Mr. Lipsky says, he wanted to give you "something to chew on".  He accomplishes that, and more. 

Oh, and as the credits ran, there was the same haunting song from the trailer...and the damn thing was STILL over-modulated to the point of semi-distortion.