Thursday morning we were late getting out of the house, but overall things went fine.  Minutes before we left we got a call from the bed and breakfast, asking about the special candlelight dinner we had reserved.  I had failed to specify whether we wanted it on the first night of our visit (as I’d actually planned), or the second night.  Elaine, one of the owners of The Claiborne House (and the one preparing the mal) was just getting over a chest cold and was hoping we preferred the second night.  As it happened, Heather had changed her mind about Thursday anyway, and we agreed Friday would work best for everyone.  So that bit of uncertainty was quickly settled.  Next, it was time for a stop at the vet.  Dropping Toby off was a bit emotional, since Heather and I are both big babies and spoil the cats rotten.  This was the first time we’d been away from him since we adopted him, and Toby is a VERY affectionate cat.  I was concerned that he’d be very scared while boarded, or else that he’d think we had left him for good.  After all, he had been in the care of the animal rescue group for who knows how long before we adopted him, so he might remember that experience.  I probably have a tendency to humanize my pet’s actions beyond reality, but so what?

Traffic on the way to Jefferson was much worse than I expected, almost exclusively due to construction.  I’ve never seen drivers like those in Texas: the simple concept of merging two lanes into one is beyond their comprehension.  You’d think they’d never seen a zipper before!  So even though the actual number of vehicles on the road was rather small, in numerous locations we hit backups which snaked for more than a mile where two lanes merged into one – despite the merges being announced by multiple signs miles in advance.  Just another fun aspect to driving in Texas…almost as much fun as watching so many Texas drivers race off the interstate, over the medians and shoulders, and onto the service roads in an attempt to get around these merge fiascos.  And I don’t just mean those who drive big SUV’s or trucks…it isn’t unusual to see an occasional Ford Taurus or Kia Rio make the same maneuver!

When we reached the Jefferson area, just north of Marshall on US 59, it became clear that Yahoo and Mapquest had some less-than-accurate ideas about how the local streets were laid out.  We were supposed to turn right onto a Walker Street, but no such road existed as far as we could tell.  I’m terrific at reading a map, but without one I’m basically blind, so it took two phone calls to Elaine before we found our way there.  Since we had never stayed at a bed and breakfast before, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but the initial view of the exterior and interior of the house suggested we were in for a very pleasant stay.

The house itself was built in 1872, although there are now two additional buildings in the back – one containing the day spa, and the other a carriage house with two guest rooms inside.  We had reserved the Browning Room, which featured a private entrance on the side of the house.  This proved to be another stroke of luck, as it made it much easier for the hobbled Heather to make it in and out of the house.  Incidentally, if you’d like to see more details of the Claiborne House, perhaps with a mind towards staying there, check out their web site at http://claibornehousebnb.com/ - and as long as you are there, it’s probably a smart idea to read the travelling directions they have posted there.  If I’d bothered to do that, I wouldn’t have gotten lost in the first place!  Don’t forget to mention you heard about them from Heather and myself.  It won’t save you any money or anything, but at least she’ll take pity on you, realizing that anybody who is a friend of mine probably NEEDS a vacation!

Elaine met us at the front door and gave us a tour of the downstairs.  We had to skip the upstairs because the staircase is l-o-n-g and Heather simply didn’t want to chance it.  But from what we were able to see, the house was beautiful.  The striking red walls, the classic furniture, the gorgeous red or cobalt blue glassware...it had a marvelous feel to it, and it was clear that Elaine and her husband Steve (who was away on a business trip) had put a lot of work and a lot of love into the home.  I was quite surprised to learn they had cable television and wireless internet within the house for the use of the guests!  I was going to enjoy the romantic aspects of the bed and breakfast, but those modern conveniences were simply welcome bonuses we would greatly appreciate.

It was already 6pm by the time we had unpacked and settled into our room, and since Heather was obviously unable to participate in something like a walking tour of the haunted Jefferson homes, we figured the best plan was to go grab a bite to eat and then return to the room for the night.  Might as well make use of the canopied bed and the two-person whirlpool tub right away!  Heather wanted some home-style cooking, so Elaine suggested a casual bar and restaurant downtown which had a reputation of being a favorite among locals.  It wasn’t hard to find, and we had no complaints with what we found.  The portions were ample, the food tasty, and the prices reasonable.  Service was rather slow, but I figured that was more just the relaxed pace of country life.  We split some fried mushrooms, and while I ate a juicy burger, Heather enjoyed chicken-fried chicken with country gravy, along with the Texas staples of mashed potatoes and green beans.  Satisfied, we returned to our room where we relaxed for the evening.  Heather was happy to realize the water jets in the tub were rather therapeutic for her injured ankle too!

Friday morning we slept in a bit, and then enjoyed a delicious breakfast in the dining room.  Elaine had prepared strawberry soup, bacon, orange juice, an egg dish with peppers, and some delicious rolls.  There were also some dangerous tiny cinnamon rolls – frosted and delicate, much like the center of the bigger version (which is, after all, the best part)!  Mmmm!  I was disappointed to realize we wouldn’t be able to stay long enough for the Saturday breakfast, because we had to be back to the vet by noon or else Toby would be stuck there until Monday.  At breakfast we met the only other couple who had been there Thursday night – a pleasant married couple from the Dallas area.  I believe the gentleman was an Episcopalian minister, and his wife did work for the church.  They were only staying for a few days too, since they needed to be back by Saturday night.  I should also mention that at this meal Heather learned one of the most important wifely duties she needs to adopt – always check your husband before he goes out in public!  It turned out I had my sweater on backwards, which we didn’t realize until Elaine politely told me after breakfast.  Poor Heather – a lifetime with me?  Shudder…

The weather Friday was perfect for a day walking around town – breezy, sunny, and not too warm.  Heather and I spent the day going through local shops.  Some were the garden-variety “antique” stores, stuffed with overpriced clutter of questionable authenticity.  A few had some very nice pieces, including attractive furniture, but we’re not in the market for anything…hard to buy things when you are tight with money and live in a one-bedroom apartment!  Then in one candle/curio shop, Heather found a section of new clothing, all priced to move: $7.77 per piece!  Clothes shopping was the last thing I expected to suffer through on a honeymoon in Jefferson, but in the end she found quite a few very nice articles at bargain prices, plus a new winter coat (not that we get much winter) and a few gifts for the upcoming holidays. 

In another store we met Booger, a cute store cat who liked to play rough just like our Toby.  He chewed on my fingers a bit, and then we got into an interesting (but too long) conversation with the proprietor about life in Jefferson, renting out her second home for vacationers, and the surplus of stray animals in the area.  Breaking free of that, we enjoyed some local barbecue, including what Heather declared was the best potato salad she had ever tasted.  In fact, she looked positively heartbroken when she’d finished it!  Then it was back to the Claiborne House to rest and prepare for dinner.  We sat on our private porch swing for a bit, listening to nothing and holding each other, and then went inside for Heather’s nap.  She gets soooo cranky when she’s tired!

First, Heather went to the Claiborne’s day spa, A Touch of Class, for an hour-long massage.  I sort of had to talk her into scheduling one, but I knew she’d enjoy it and after all, it was our honeymoon!  At first I was only going to reserve a half hour, but Elaine showed me that they priced them specifically to discourage that, as 30 minutes was simply not long enough for the proper luxurious effect.  I think the second 30 minutes was only like $10 more.  In this case it wasn’t the money I was concerned about, but rather I wanted to leave Heather enough time for a proper nap too before dinner.  While she had her stresses rubbed away, I fought through all the emails which had backed up in my mailboxes.  Then it was nap time!

After a nice rest, it was almost time for dinner.  We’d scheduled this meal months in advance, and because I had no experience with a bed and breakfast I hadn’t understood why we both had to order the same food.  Now that we were here, I could see how difficult it would have been for Elaine to prepare multiple meals.  In fact, later on I asked and discovered that if more than one couple wants a candlelight dinner on the same night, the first one to order gets to select the menu.  Everybody else has to agree to that menu, or skip the meal.  Having this dinner in our room was a touch of romantic extravagance, but how many honeymoons with my soul mate do I get anyway?

The meal consisted of butternut squash soup, fresh rolls, a delicious spinach and walnut salad (with strawberries), filet mignon, asparagus, and an incredible chocolate soufflé for dessert.  The only problem with the meal was trying to find a place to fit it all!  Elaine was kind enough to wrap up the bit of meat we left, so the cats could enjoy it when we got home.  Since our room had a private fridge, there was no problem finding a place to store it until we left.  The whole meal was a delicious feast, and I put on our wedding reception CD’s (which we had burned ourselves) as background music.  I’ll list the songs next issue, when I give you all the details of the actual wedding…I’m waiting until we have the photos, so I can include a few of them with the narrative.  Besides, this thing is too long already!

Along with the normal table settings, our dinner included a little silver bell.  This was a source of minor amusement for me during the meal.  Elaine asked that we ring the bell as we finished each course, so she’d know to clear one away and bring the next one.  Heather is so cute and unassuming that she did NOT feel comfortable ringing it.  She actually asked Elaine if it would be okay to get up and find her when we needed her.  Heather found the idea of ringing the bell to be too “snotty”.  Elaine just laughed and said not to worry about it.  But Heather still was very nervous about the idea.  She is far too down-to-earth to act haughty like that.  She’ll never fit into the Hollywood scene, will she?  She did explain that when she used to visit her great aunt Martha Wallis (famous actress, and wife of producer Hal Wallis) every meal would be formal with servants, and it always made her nervous.  I can’t begin o tell you how lucky I am that this wonderful woman was foolish enough to fall in love with, and marry, a creep like me!  I definitely do not deserve her!

After dinner we spent some romantic time on the porch swing again, while Heather told me all about living in the country when she was growing up, and the porch swing they had.  I never get tired of listening to her, or learning about the things which made her the woman she is today.  Someday we want to have our own little house, and what could be better than a big porch with a swing as part of that?  It doesn’t take a lot to make us happy…we’ve both reached the point in our lives where the little things are all we dream about.  Besides, I already found the most important thing – her!

Then it was back into the tub, this time with rose petals scattered around for a romantic effect.  I bet Heather could really get used to living in that room, but unfortunately Saturday morning we had to leave by 8am to keep Toby from being stuck “in prison” for an extra two days.  Traffic on the way back was light, and we made great time.  Heather, of course, slept almost the entire way.  Toby was very glad to see us, and so was Tigger…but I am sure she was pissed off when she realized Toby was back too.  I believe she was starting to think she’d gotten rid of him for good!

I had a wonderful time on our honeymoon, and the only thing I’d have changed (aside from making Heather’s ankle uninjured) was to make it longer.  But the good news is I am now married to the most beautiful, charming, magical, desirable, irresistible, sexy, enchanting, and deliciously bossy woman in the universe.  If we didn’t get enough of Jefferson – which we didn’t – all we have to do is go back for our anniversary!  We’re already busy reading up on all the things we missed the first time around!